“He is only a little boy, for such a little while“
For about a week now, my 8 ½ month old has been waking up a couple times throughout the night crying. We sleep trained him when he was 4 months old so this is definitely unusual for him. Knowing he is teething pretty bad, (and probably going through the dreaded 8 month sleep regression) I am finding myself going into his room a couple times during the night to give him as many cuddles as he wants. A couple nights ago it took him quite a while to calm down, but honestly, I savoured every little second of it. My heart was breaking for him because I knew he was in pain, and as soon as he took that deep breath, sighed with relief and fell asleep on my shoulder, my heart melted and my eyes started to tear up…It was at that moment that I knew I wasn’t going to have many more moments like this. The feeling of exhaustion I have had in the past couple days is bringing back memories of when he was a newborn and I would stay up with him all night long. I remember we would sit silently on our couch and cuddle, I would nurse him, and we would fall in and out of sleep to the glow of the TV. I miss that so much.
He’s getting his first tooth & I’m losing that gummy grin.
The corner of a tooth has started to poke through his gums (ouch…) and it has made me realise that I am never going see his gummy grin again. Ever since Tim Allen’s show, Home Improvement, I have pictured myself having three boys. After many, many talks, my husband and I have decided, that more likely than not, we are just having two. I am so incredibly thankful to have my two handsome, healthy, little boys but am already sad about how fast my babies are growing up, and even sadder about how many firsts I will never have again. I have already said goodbye to the first smile, the first giggle, the first roll over, the first sit up, the first solid food… there are so many milestones that have already happened while I am still looking at my 8 month old like he is a newborn. It still feels like he is a newborn.
There’s so much I am going to miss.
I am going to miss his gummy grin.
I am going to miss his little fingers wrapped around mine.
I am going to miss his sweet smell.
I am going to miss his baby babble.
I already miss the midnight snuggles, when the rest of the house was silent and he would fall asleep in my arms
I already miss swaddling him like a burrito
I miss the entire newborn stage, including the exhaustion.
You better believe I am going to read him another story…or two, or three. I will most certainly sing him another lullaby, and rock him a little in my arms because as I know; from my first son, this doesn’t last forever, and goes by so quickly. It shatters my heart to know that in just a few months, we will no longer have our “first thing in the morning nursing cuddle” together. He’s going to be running down the stairs in no time shouting “Milk, please!” and opening the fridge door.
I went through a couple days (maybe more…) where I had a really hard time trying to accept the fact that I won’t have any more babies and that my newborn is now almost 9 months old. I wanted to rip the feeling off like a band-aid, and so within 24 hours sold our bassinet, pregnancy pillow, and other newborn items. I started to go through the newborn clothes and had a really hard time deciding which ones I was going to give away, and which ones I would keep for memories…and then it hit me…
Don’t be sad; be excited for all the NEW firsts
I now realise, that yes, while the newborn stage is one of my favorite stages, there are so many more things to come!! I have had a blast with my three year old having firsts. His first time on a roller coaster (OMG…okay, I didn’t enjoy that, but my husband did) the first time he went to daycare (again, not one of my favorites) his first friend, his first time jumping off a diving board, the first time he went tobogganing, the first time he watched daddy play hockey, and so many more. I am so excited to see him ride a bike for the first time, go to school for the first time (meh…excited might be the wrong adjective) I am excited for his first sleep over, I am excited to throw him his first “friends” birthday party!
I take pictures, hold onto the memories, and know there is so much more fun ahead.
I love looking back on pictures of both my babies and remembering how little they both were. And you better believe that until my 8 month old starts to push me away, I will snuggle him, rock him, sing to him, and make him giggle to the moon and back, but at the same time, I am thrilled to be able to tell jokes with my toddler, and make him laugh by chasing him around the house. I love having him run to me shouting “Mama hug!” Instead of feeling the newborn exhaustion, I am feeling so proud lately. I am proud every single time my toddler accomplishes a new task. The joy in his face after he completes something gives me a feeling that I can’t explain, but know that is one that will come back again, and again!
I still get to experience the first crawl, (any day now!) first steps, first words, and more, with my 8 month old and will cherish every single moment along the way. And at the same time, I am having so much fun experiencing all the different firsts with my toddler, for example just the other day, his first time climbing to the top of a zip line platform within seconds… knock on wood; I still have not experienced the first hospital visit!
FIRST HAIR CUT & FIRST CHRISTMAS WITH MY OLDEST.
Although it is so hard how quickly time flies, and how fast my babies are growing up, it is so much fun to look forward to everything that is ahead of us! I will continue to be proud of them, every single day, and I am so excited to continue this journey with them.